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HOW TO SURVIVE THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE

By Lauren Dunmore

We’ve all seen the movies and watched in horror at the zombie-like attacks that have swept the nation over the past few years (look up the Miami Zombie Attack for a very bizarre read), but how well prepared are we for the end of the world? In all seriousness, a zombie apocalypse isn’t likely, but the skills you’d need to survive one could come in handy in a variety of do-or-die situations. Maybe you’re lost in the woods, perhaps you get stuck in a canyon à la 127 Hours, or maybe actual cannibal Shia LaBeouf is hunting you.

Regardless of the tragedy, you’ll need a few essential skills to survive and thrive in the wilderness (or post-apocalyptic world).

WATER IS YOUR MOST VALUABLE RESOURCE

Water is probably the most important resource in any apocalyptic scenario. Without it, your body can’t function properly. Dehydration has been known to cause mental and physical exhaustion, a literal death sentence if you are spending your days running from the undead (and/or Shia LaBeouf). The human body can only survive without water for 3 days, so we recommend either stockpiling a few years worth of water or making camp near a body of freshwater.

This leads us to our next fundamental rule of survival, never drink dirty or contaminated water! Waterborne illnesses are not your friend, so make sure to boil any questionable looking water for at least one minute. Always look for clear, running water as the movement helps fight bacteria. If you’re looking for a slightly cleaner source, try collecting rainwater. It provides all of the delicious hydration minus the risk of horrifying bacterial illness. If fresh water isn’t available, and you don’t have tons of space for stocking years worth of water supplies, we’d recommend going the route of all-natural drinks. Our favorites, for maintaining hydration and concentration are the Performance Drink or OP Shot from Runtime. Both will provide you with the kick you need to survive the end of the world.

PRISONS AND MOUNTAINS ARE THE WAY TO GO

We strongly advise against trying to hide in a city or any other kind of heavily populated area (we’re looking at you Will Smith from I am Legend). Why? Because that’s where most of the zombies will be of course. Instead, look for mountains or prisons to make shelter. Prisons aren’t only a great way to keep people from getting out, they are also strongholds against unwanted visitors coming in. When the apocalypse hits, prisoners will most likely flee the area, leaving your friendly neighborhood maximum-security detention center ripe for the taking.

If prisons aren’t really your thing, we suggest going high. Like really high. Up to the tallest mountain high. Assuming we’re dealing with Shaun of the Dead variety zombies, we probably don’t have to worry about them climbing mountains. You’ll also avoid any dangerous post-apocalyptic scavenger gangs up in the mountains. Choose a mountain with plenty of wildlife, moving bodies of water, and a pleasing ambiance to spend the end of days in comfort.

LEARN HOW TO SCAVENGE

Fighting by night and scavenging by day works up quite the appetite. You’ll need to quickly figure out how to find valuable resources like food and cooking gear. Avoid the urge to visit Walmart or any other big-box stores. They are likely to be overrun by people (a.k.a zombie prey), so don’t walk into what could easily become a breakfast buffet.

Instead, look to the wilderness for sustenance. Learn what plants are okay to eat, pack your grandpa's fishing rod, and for the love of God teach yourself how to build a fire. These are skills you should start learning before the apocalypse, so do yourself a favor and pick up a guidebook and subscribe to some experienced survivalists on Youtube. Believe me, you’ll thank us later when you’re enjoying a perfectly cooked salmon on a mountaintop, surviving and thriving in the apocalypse.

If learning which leaves are edible is beyond your skill-set, we can also recommend stocking up on nutrition bars like the Megabite, a chocolate meal packed with protein and vitamins. Plus it’s nice and compact, a perfect fit for your post apocalyptic bungalow.

FIND A CREW

If you’re lucky, you’ll be with a group of friends or family when the world ends, but if not, look for fellow survivors. First off, you’re safer in numbers. Plus, the apocalypse can be lonely, having at least one survival buddy could prevent a quick descent into madness.

When selecting your apocalyptic gang, you’ll want to find people with a range of skills to contribute to the group. Your outdoorsy friend Ted understands the ways of the wild and can act as a guide for the group. Laura, the firefighter, is skilled with an ax and knows how to stay calm in a crisis. Denise, the marketing executive, has fantastic leadership skills and understands how to organize a group. Once your gang is assembled, find a stronghold (see tip 2 for more on this), and stock up on resources (tip 3). This group will soon become your apocalypse family, one of the most lasting bonds a person can form.

If your group survives, you might even find yourself tasked with rebuilding civilization in a few years.

BUILD UP YOUR ENDURANCE

Fighting zombies, scavenging for food, and living off the land requires a substantial amount of energy and endurance. You’ll need something to give you a competitive edge in the dog-eat-dog world you’ll soon be living in. We recommend Runtime’s performance-boosting meals and drinks for improved focus and endurance.

The Next Level Meal is a ready-to-drink meal that provides the nutrients and nourishment you need to take on any challenge. Just add powder to your Runtime bottle and shake, 60 seconds later you’ll have a fully balanced meal. Perfect for snacking on the go (or running from zombies).

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